a true ramble

the way i feel, its incredible how much one thing can be stuck on your mind. it could be a song, a person, or your biggest fear. it feels like its always there, coming into your new thoughts and drawing you back into an obsession-like state. you feel enclosed, embodied. i'll just sit here quietly with my thoughts. no one but you can overcome them. even though all you are doing is trying to make them go away. i hate that i can never get that one thing out of my head. go away! its not gonna happen, just stop! quit fantasizing about it, because once something you keep dreaming actually comes true, or something good happens, you push it off like its nothing. wow, sad the only way to get this incredible thought away, is to do something about it, and then all the happiness goes away. this makes no sense. i hate that when something good comes along i have to ruin it. why why why! its so true though, on many occasions. this thought is just another one adding to the list.  maybe its because i wish this would be The Thought. the one that is just right for me. i don't know, all i know is that i hate thinking about this thought... its just lust.